Get in Good with these Essential Statements

So you're stuck going to another family party or wedding. Again. Did you ever consider how much can be accomplished at one of these events? Free food and booze, beautiful women and Dad's the designated driver. What more could you ask for?

To make the most of your night, follow these guidelines:

Quiz your parents ahead of time on the event, guest's names, ages, drinking habits, whatever. Although you might get on your Mother's nerves, you'll be better prepared to make your mark.

Bring a nice gift of chocolates or flowers for the host. Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated by an anxious and over-worked Auntie. Besides, she might have a daughter.

The sight of you handing out ladoos or taking orders for chai is just too sweet to resist. You also get an excuse to chat with just about every girl in the room.

Don't stand by the bar competing with the Johnny Walker fan club. Walk around, make conversation, and don't slur! You'll remember her number in the morning.

They just love to think they're funny. Remember, he may have a comb-over, but his niece could be just fine.

Consider wearing an Indian outfit. You'll stand out as cultured and refined. Also a great way to avoid ironing that shirt.