Globalization is here to stay.   My home alarm system is monitored by a call centre in Colorado; my computer help desk is located in Bangalore; and when I call my insurance company, I know the person I speak with is not anywhere in the GTA.

Is it any wonder then that when I put my profile up on a dating site I get messages and winks from men from as far as Sydney (Australia) or  Austin (Texas) and everywhere in between.  Everywhere that is but from Toronto! (ok, well, that's not entirely true, I did get some messages from folks in Toronto but that's another story for another day).

What surprises me most about these messages is that my profile clearly states, "I enjoy travel but Toronto is my home. If I meet you and we get along, I'm hoping we'll see more of each other. And, for all those reasons, I would be more partial to meeting someone from my own city."

So, I really don't see why a guy in Tallahassee (I had to look this one up on a map!) would want to write to a girl in Toronto.   Hello, this is a dating site!  I'm not looking for pen pals and I actually already have tons of amazing friends!  I don't have the time to write endless emails or have a relationship over the telephone!  Neither am I lonely or depressed trying to find companionship on my computer on a friday or saturday night.  If you're worth knowing then I want to meet you!

And you might be wonderful (and some of the messages I have received are indeed from persons that I would have loved to meet or get to know - had they been in my own city!) but if it's going to take me (or him!) 3-4 hours of driving (or worse, flying) to even have our first date - what is the point, really?

Mind you, I know many couples that have found love across cities, countries and even continents. They're generally the kind of people that don't have compelling ties to the city that they live in.  By this I mean that maybe they don't have a child that they share custody of with the other parent, maybe they don't have a career that requires them to be licensed in a jurisdiction before they can practise it.  In essence, , they have careers that are easily portable to new cities, not enough commitments in their current city (mortgages, memberships, etc.) and they're willing to give up the close links that they have to their families, friends, and all other things that they've familiarized themselves with and start over with the new love in their life.  And, when it works, I'm sure it's a worthwhile exercise to go that distance!

Speaking for myself, I really do believe that if I am to get to know someone, we need to spend some time together.  That means, spending time together, as frequently as we can, while still living our own lives as we normally do.  And, given my lifestyle, that time is usually in the evening after work or on a weekend (assuming, in each case, that I do not have my daughter with me on those days).  If the person I am meeting is also a single parent then there needs to be some fine tuning with his own schedule to find that time. 

See what I mean?  Even with someone from my own city, it can easily be a few days or weeks before I can actually find an evening to meet someone for a coffee or dinner.  More importantly, because my schedule can be so unpreditable  - sometimes opportunities come up when I least expect them: A late afternoon meeting gets cancelled, my daughter decides to do a sleep over at a friend's place and Voilà! I have a free afternoon or evening!  That's when I want to pick up the phone and call someone and say, "Hey!! you free for dinner tonight? or  wanna catch a film?"  Try saying that to a chap in Tallahasee!!

So, while I might have to resign myself to speaking to call centres in Ireland or India when sorting out my computer issues or banking queries, when it comes to dating - finding my partner - I'll stick to the GTA - thank you very much!

Reprinted with permission from Sy in the City: A window into Syerah's world and her balancing act: parent, lawyer, entrepreneur, and a single woman looking for her soul mate - all while being an urban hipster and living life to the fullest with friends and family!

You can contact Syerah at syerah@mybindi.com